Adventures in on-line dating

If only it were like this picture.

As a single female in the twenty-first century, I’ve tried my share of on-line dating sites. Some were free, some were expensive, some promised to match you with your soul mate, others let you do the weeding out. After years of trying to find Mr. Right, I’ve collected a few interesting stories. And just when I promise myself that I’M THROUGH with these silly sites, a few months pass and I decide to give it another go. After all, it’s estimated that 1 in 6 marriage relationships today start on-line.

I should preface this also by saying that I always state in my profile that my purpose in dating is to meet a husband, not to just have fun or make new friends, etc.

So here they are, my top ten on-line dates (or would-be dates):

#10: The guy that told me he’d be more impressed with me if I knew how to spell “definitely” right (DOH! I had ignorantly been spelling it “definately” for the first 24 years of my life). I won’t make that mistake again, thank you very much.

#9: The guy that’s old enough to be my grandpa. Yes, age does matter. And no, I don’t appreciate you wasting my time and cluttering up my inbox.

#8: The NUMEROUS guys who won’t man up and do the pursuing. Call me old-fashioned.

#7: The guy that keeps popping up in facebook’s “people you might know” suggestions, despite us having no friends in common or other connections from which facebook could identify a relationship. Does that mean he’s searched for me? Cyber-stalking? I don’t know, but it gives me the creeps.

#6: The guy who wouldn’t move beyond “just friends” after several years of correspondence and just-friend “dates.” After I finally called it off, he married the next person he met on-line after about a six-month courtship. Nope, I’m not bitter at all!

#5: The guy who said he wanted to go out again, then changed his profile to say he was “in a relationship,” but never bothered to let me know (because he obviously wasn’t in a relationship with me).

#4: The guy I met who seemed pretty normal, then started sending me a bunch of youtube videos about swords and martial arts. You can have your things, but do you have to force them on others?

#3: The guy who thinks I care what his favorite colors are in his opening message to me…”well, I want to meet my sole mate. I like NASCAR, drive a 1996 Taurus, and my favrite colors are blue then second red.” He couldn’t spell, either, but who am I to judge? (see #10)

#2: The guy who insulted me by calling me narrow-minded for specifying that I’d only correspond with other Christians. Sure, we all can “Coexist,” but not in my bed for the rest of my life! 

And the #1 prize goes to the “I’m looking for a sister-wife” guy! Seriously. This guy contacted me to tell me he was married to a woman 30 years his senior. He loved his wife and wouldn’t think of divorcing her, but wanted to have children. But “wife” number two would have to like animals because she’ll be living and working on a farm. Oh, please, SIGN ME UP!              Not.

I guess I should be thankful I’ve lived to share these experiences with you. I am fairly selective about who I’ll meet, so fortunately I don’t have any real horror stories there. You never can tell, though. Ladies, be careful out there. Don’t settle, because you deserve the best. But also don’t get all “Seinfeld” nit-picky, if you know what I mean (i.e. he’s a close-talker, he has big hands, etc.)


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